Ugh...

So, I'm having one of THOSE days...you know the ones I mean. Nothing devastating has actually happened...my child hasn't stolen the new car and taken it for a spin into a nearby tree, there were no house fires set (intentionally or unintentionally) and we're all relatively healthy, sane and "with it", so, where does the funk come from; especially after having had an incredibly wonderful day less than 24 hours before? I can't explain it, but it's where I'm at today. Maybe I'm missing having the entire posse together - (Mark's kids are with their mom this week). Or maybe it's just the lull between sure to come dramas or maybe it's the Asian Bird Flu (I am a bit of a hypochondriac). Even as I ponder those, none of them give me that "BINGO!" feeling.

Perhaps it's the permeating weight that there are many more things to accomplish than there are hours to check them off in or that one of those little things that doesn't seem like a big deal happens - though unintentionally - but it hits to the core of your heart, your insecurities and weaknesses. Yep, that's it! Ugh...

I got hurt today when I felt I wasn't considered. Within our daily lives, it can be difficult to connect communication wise. Between Mark's high stress job as a Juvenile Intake Specialist (JIS) for the Children's Court Center, our four kids and their needs - seriously, do I need to list any of those, you've got kids? you know what I mean - me trying to manage a home of 6 rather than 2, still seeking and saving the lost, loving our families and friends, sleep, bathroom breaks and an occasional viewing of "The Office", we hardly seem to have enough time to fit it all in. So, naturally details get overlooked and I can easily feel left out. I know in my head that none of this was done intentionally - he doesn't have time nor the heart to intentionally create situations that are designed to hurt my heart. Nonetheless, I still feel "ughish".

While I'm fighting not to give into it, I do realize that sharing my weaknesses and bringing them out into the light can stifle the craziness that leads me into sin. It's an opportunity for me to trust my God and those around me while He pulls me back to center. Today, I got to share some of my God time with Monica (baptized - Easter of 2008). We talked a lot about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses and were comforted with 2 Corinthians 12: 9&10 and the permission, rather the charge to be secure in what God can do.

Despite how I feel or what is going on, what is being shared or not; God is good, all of the time, even in the middle of my ughiest days.