Whoa is knee

So, Mark does NOT need surgery on his right knee after all. He's been experiencing some sharp pains in it over the past couple of weeks so we went to the doctor and had it looked at. The doctor was quite understanding (he didn't give us the "are you sure it's not all in your head" vibe) as he experiences the same kinds of pain himself. It comes and goes, the doctor says. Usually around the time when there's more activity than normal...spring opportunities after a long and closed off winter. Pardon my attempt at medical information relaying, but here goes: There is some white stuff underneath the knee cap that separates the cap from the stuff (cartilage, maybe?) and that white stuff (and it's probably not even white inside our body, but it was on the poster) is wearing down in Mark's right knee, causing it to rub in places in his leg that aren't meant to be rubbed against. OUCH!!! The doctor recommended some soccer kicking and leg lifting and sent us on our merry way.

My husband is a bit of a ham, but when it comes to getting medical attention...he's all about it. Not me, I'm gonna sit on some good old drug help and let it get really bad before I go see a doctor (no offense Tina). I hope I'll learn from him how to be more grateful for medications and not always wait and hope it gets better in fear of hearing bad news or getting a shot. (I strongly dislike shots.) With a family of 6 and a co-pay of $10 per visit (except dental), I'm thinking we oughta start our own walk-a-thon or something.

We've been incredibly blessed not to have been hit with the storm of illnesses around us, but when it does, it'll be unlike anything I can ever recall experiencing before. What an opportunity to trust. I realize how much I like "my time" at home during the day. I can be incredibly productive and get a lot of the behind-the-scene things completed from my to do list, but can be incredibly overwhelmed when things (like illness or life) interfere with that. The thought of 4 kids being sick 2 or 3 weeks at a time at that overlapping with one another, let the praying begin!

God has blessed us again with health through Mark's knee check up, but I do know that He's not doing it just so that I can protect my schedule. Reading Isaiah 28:16 helps me to remember my quest to trust God more deeply and the promise that He attaches to that trust; in a doctor's visit, dropping our children off at school, the foods we prepare for them, the friends they play with, our insecurities about our relationships, our fears about history repeating itself...oh, the list just goes on and on and the opportunities to trust grow and grow.

I'm grateful for Mark's proactive heart toward seeking medical help and clarifying problems early on. I hope to imitate him in this area of trust. The how for me isn't as clear, just yet. Especially when I've got a white layer (like the knee) that is worn around my heart, not functioning as well due to a lot of damage, wear and tear. I know I need to exercise the heart and work that layer of protection into God's hands and let Him deal with it. I've got to see Him as my healer and allow Him to attend to me in my still pain-filled heart. I don't exactly know HOW, but I do know that I'm seeing the Doctor and that it'll take time. I get to trust as He does His thing and restores my heart to the way it was always intended. I can't wait to watch Mark play softball on a fully healed knee after he's worked and exercised to restore it as the doctor suggested and am even more excited to see what life will be like as God continues to work and exercise my own heart for Him.

So while I wait on the Lord, I'll keep asking myself: to knee or not to knee, that is the question...

(oh my goodness, I'm seriously considering trying out for next season's "Last Comic Standing")