A lot of growing...

There's been a lot of "getting older" going on around here. Dylan turned 11 on June 5 and Sabrina celebrated her 11th birthday on the 18th. It's been busy! With end-of-the-year promotions, end of the year field trips, my parent's 39th anniversary (sorry I didn't get you anything yet), Father's Day and nail & hair appointment (on different days no less) , it's been difficult to believe that this month still has more stuff to put into it.

My husband, Mark & I lead the Junior High Teen Ministry at our church (7th & 8th graders) and today was the "Promotion Ceremony" - it was fun, stained by one major absence - Taylor; my 14 year old stepson. Why he wasn't present, I will not share about in this forum, in another day or two, will it even matter? But, I realized how much I missed him and wanted to have some closure on his time with us in this ministry as well recognizing a big transition - going on to high school. This summer isn't going to happen again for him in the same way. I know it's inevitable that kids grow and grow up and grow apart from the adults in their lives, I mean I wasn't going to go through a box of Kleenex over it, but I felt robbed of the opportunity to officially marker the moment. I think I've gained a little better insight to what Mark must experience only seeing pieces of 3 of his children's development, growth & choices; and two different households really can & do bring out different things in the same 3 that I'm speaking of - it's very interesting.

Anyhoo, having so much growth in the Erickson Posse, even in the 2 years since we've met and began bonding this family, I feel the pull everyday that we make more memories and spend more time. It's like a wicked, twisted curse. Okay, perhaps that's a bit dramatic, it's more likely another opportunity to pray and for ME to grow closer to God. Really, THE point. As our kids grow, we grow - they force us to. We can't do and say and be who we always were - we've got to evolve and change and be willing to grow, dig and shed layers and try on new skin. It's so hard, because the biggest revelation I have in all of this is that it seems - and it's not completely confirmed yet - that I'm turning into my parents and even more frightening a fan of how they disciplined in particular. I hated it while going through it (or receiving it, shall we say), but would so like to expose the children to just.a.little.taste. It's all perspective people.

Birthdays are only once a year and a significant markers for the growth of a person. We're learning to celebrate each child individually to their liking. With Dylan we took on a full on theme for his birthday, but Brina had a large, personal cupcake for breakfast on her birthday - less attention, less rigamarole (so excited I got to use that word). I'd like to think that neither child would complain. At our personal family meal when we celebrate someone, especially on their birthday, we share what we love about them. It's only been 2 years as a "fam" that we've been doing this and it was the youngest who asked at Brina's breakfast birthday celebration - "Can we go around and say what we love about Sabrina"? We did.

It was a great family time. The things that were shared were different, new. Sabrina HAS grown a lot. Not just physically (can you say training bra? huh, hem), but emotionally too. This young lady is really working hard to speak multi-syllable phrases and initiating them on her own. One day last week, she was finishing up her breakfast at the table and I heard her say, "Na (what she calls me)?, Nunclock". I stepped closer and she pointed at the clock across the room and repeated herself and guess what - IT WAS NINE O'CLOCK! Watch out world, Sabrina's showing up and growing up.

We all are, together. It's no easy task, but we're in it, to win it and the rewards of the growing pains are good.

Are We Blended Yet?

Have you ever noticed that I don't ever write about my stepchildren on Facebook? Maybe in a few years, I'll feel differently, but right now the relationships we're building are still so fragile and new. I share this blog with folks I know (at least I think I do) and believe that you, reader, know that my intentions are loving & sincere. I need an outlet to share my thoughts and heart about being a mom & stepmom and this is the safest, most public venue that I do that in.

So one thing about us: we host a Bible Talk in our home every other Wednesday. We have three other couples that join us (you can see Christine in the background). We open the Bible together and often have the kids stay with us for the lesson and learn about God as a family; tonight was one of those nights.

The focus of the lesson was "family" and doing things TOGETHER. I don't know about you, but I don't have a file cabinet full of memories of my parents, brother and I doing all of this stuff together - at least not in comparison to what our kids experience now. We were asked to "Get together in your family and determine your best memory as a family." I developed a bit of anxiety because we were by far the newest of the four families present and I think, without even realizing it, I reverted back to my own childhood & family memories. Within seconds, e6 was grouped and talking. Everyone shared, but there was consensus fairly quickly, but most encouraging was that we had options to pick from, we had options to discuss.

It was so heartwarming because everyone in our family smiled as Mark was sharing the memory he chose and I could feel this invisible, but thick rubber band latching us together. It was...a moment (for me). I needed this, because sometimes I falter in my definition of family these days. Defining the us Ericksons never seems straightforward and easy.

Just yesterday, I was meeting a couple of girlfriends at Bux and a gentleman, who's daughter goes to school with Veronica and I started chatting. As I was walking away, he asked, "You're Veronica's Mom, right?"

Pause. Feel the awkwardness. No, wait a little longer.

He has yelled this question across the parking lot (he had a cast on his foot) and I have a second to make it less awkward than it feels to me.

"I'm her STEPMOTHER", I yell back as I walk away - with, I think, a smile.

***

Back to the picture above...

It's difficult a lot of the time weaving and bobbing through the blended family thing (it does feel like you're in a boxing ring sometimes), but it's so worth it when our family feels we have a bond amongst ourselves. I give lots of credit to God for giving me Mark as a husband. He is no joke when it comes to planning FUN, because of his desire to have FUN & make memories, we were able to answer the question about a favorite family memory - easily.

When Ron (what I've been calling Veronica lately) stepped up to compete in the cup challenge - against a boy, I might add - I was sitting behind her, talking in her ear. Whispering words of encouragement, cheering her on, telling her she could do it, to be patient and stay focused and that we knew she could do this - and she did. She won! We sat next to one another on the couch afterwards and after all of the high-fiving was finished, I looked her in the eye and told her how proud of her I was for giving her best. And - wait, there's something in my eye (wink, wink), - she looked at me, beamed and hugged me. Ahhhh. Another...moment.

This family is coming together. We are bonding and enjoying one another more and more. It's moments like these that have helped me to realize that I'm in the very place I'm supposed to be with the exact family that is I'm supposed to be. Complicated as it is, we're learning about loving one another and truly being our best together.

Even with such wonderful moments like these, I can't help but wonder, "are we blended yet"?

Rebooting...

Has it really been since March that I've written a post?  I guess the blog doesn't lie.

Anyhoo, I'm back, rebooting, recharging and gearing up to write (again).  I'm not going to overanalyze why I haven't chosen to write; it basically boils down to letting other people get into my head. You ever do that?  Let people cause you doubt what you know you oughta be doing?  I used to do it all of the time, but less as I get older.  So, I'm back to writing - again!  

So, let's say that I've just hit the "sync" button and that I am working hard to get things back to "normal".  The family is away on a mini-vacation up in the Dells and I, poor me, have been left to my own devices here in an empty house for 3 days, 2 nights.  I've been thinking a lot about this and wondering how to say this so that everyone reading would understand, but - IT'S HEAVENLY, WONDERFUL, AMAZING!!! Can you picture me doing "the Carlton" in my kitchen with a big grin on my face?  It's - oh that good!  Now, I will offer the regular caveat - I miss my family and am excited to see them, but for right now - I'm so glad to be home alone.  

I've cleaned, read, watched television, caught up on months of work, painted my nails, eaten good food, slept great. It's truly been a great start to the summer. Right now, my feet are up, I'm waiting for the next load of laundry to beep at me and finally catching up on the final season & episode of "24". It may have taken me another few months to get my act together and get these important things done.

It's been my transition into summer that I'm making.  I'm so hoping that I can do this again next year.  Oh God please give me this opportunity next year.  With so many plans for summer, there's so much to look forward to and prepare for, it'll be July before we know it. I get to go to Grand Convention in Arizona (look for a post in a couple of weeks), then to visit friends in Oklahoma for the 4th and then on a week long trip to Georgia to visit my folks. It sounds like a lot on paper and I believe it'll be a lot when it comes to packing and the actual enjoying of these experiences - stay tuned for those posts as well.  July slows and hopefully I'll get to do a lot of reading and clearing out for a potential guest room remodel in the fall.  (Oh, I'm hoping this will happen - you're welcome to come and stay with us!)  Then in August we'll really have only a few weeks to enjoy the kids because at one point or another, someone will be at summer camp.  Then SCHOOL!!!  With having a high school freshman and a first year middle schooler, there will be some adjustments on the homefront to make.

In addition to all of that, there is plenty to look forward to for me as I settle more into my life here in Wauwatosa.  I've signed on as the PTA Treasurer, Soccer Team Manager (Gooo Galaxy!) and am holding down two Advisory Board Positions for Theta (Advisory Board Chair & Development).  I'm super excited!  I'm mostly looking forward to meeting new people and experiencing things I wouldn't normally get to enjoy or see due to the people I'll be interacting with. I'm even looking forward to challenges and opportunities for growth - as I'm sure that they'll occur.

I want to send a mini-shout out to my neighbor who glanced at my blog and likely without realizing it, encouraged me to write again. I'm so grateful, I hope to keep writing and have some funny, heartwarming, real and sometimes profound posts to share in the near future.

Here's to a full recharge for me and blogging "Life with the Ericksons".