The JOYS of Memorial Day Weekend

So, Memorial Day Weekend is kind of tricky for our family.

It is a time for remembering and memorializing those who've given and sacrificed their lives for our country's freedoms. They protected and gave and ultimately died. In our case, it was my first husband, SSgt. Chad Simon (USMC), who died from injuries sustained after being hit by an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) in the Iraq war. Due to the longevity of the attempts at recovery and many of the struggles surrounding the ordeal, it is unlikely we will ever be able to regulate our memories to just one long weekend. On the contrary, for the rest of our lives, we'll be reminded of up close impacts of the ultimate cost of war.

Despite the reality of how uncomfortable this weekend could be, the past and the present melding together even more permanently...we worked hard to find the joys in this emotional weekend by surrounding ourselves with people who understood (as much as possible) the challenges we'd been through and who had experienced loss and pain in it themselves. While a cloud of grief and pain permeated the weekend's activities, there was still a lot to smile about.


To the (top) left; Brian, Mark and Greg let me take a quick photo of them sitting & talking around the fire. The sun is going down and it is a beautiful evening, perfect for drawing close to our friends. There was Upside down Rhubarb Cake, Taco Dip & S'mores...yummy!!!! We also enjoyed some beer and wine, but most of all, just the sounds of nature, ease of conversation and our friends' love made this evening really wonderful for us.

Above, we went on a walk with Vicky, Bill and Desi (the dog). Even though it was a quick walk, it brought us back to the simplicity of life and the greatness of nature. Beautiful. We get why they love living out there and how it gives you an opportunity to slow down and remember the good things.


Vicky is walking in front of me (I don't think she knows I've snapped this picture)...she and Bill are such great hosts. We jokingly refer to their home as our own private B&B. The food is phenomenal, the conversation is encouraging and open, the comfort of their home is a great safe haven, a wonderful place to recharge and re-energize. They are also a blended family and have a lot of wisdom and experience for us to draw from. Vicky is a dear friend. Attentive to details and perceptive, but also warm and real. We're grateful to have found real friendships in them...no matter that it came through tragedy.

Below is Lyle & Judy Harbort. I am so grateful for their continued love. They could have withdrawn from us so many times along the way, but they chose to love us, even though I'm not married to their nephew anymore. They spoil both Dylan and I, and now Mark too. We watched the Monona Memorial Day Parade with them and then they had us back to their house for a small cookout and just chill time. The boys tried to get in the pool, but it was too cold. They just make us feel so loved and welcome. One of the many joys that has come through the pain.

Top center; Keith is sitting with Dylan at the parade. They have been friends for a long time. (His dad is in the first picture at the top, far left) Keith had some tough choices to make about being with us on this day. The day before, Keith's family was hosting a cookout. When we came to get Dylan, Keith had to choose between coming with us at that time and leaving a large, fun group of friends playing at his house/with his stuff or waiting to meet up with us in the morning for Memorial Day. He chose to come with us in that moment and our day of helping Dylan remember his Chad dad, would not have been the same had he not joined us. Keith, at 8 years old, has a deep compassion for what Dylan has been through. He wanted to visit the grave site with us and wanted to be included in the prayers and memories. He even drew a picture (of R2D2) and left it at the site. It fills my heart with joy that Dylan has a friend to relate to him on his level and at his age.

My biggest joy is that I'm married to Mark Erickson. I mean seriously, he stepped into our world before him and he embraced and supported Dylan and me through the entire thing. His feelings were hurt at different times in the weekend (as anyone might be), but he opened his Bible and at times, opened his heart (thanks for checking on him Brian) and he chose to love, to deny himself and to give beyond how challenged his heart was. That is love and I am joyful to see it as so...

The Bible says to "be joyful always" (1 Thessalonians 5:16). Our friends were sure we'd be able to pull joy out of the things we've been through and they were right. Here we are...embracing a bit of joy even in some of the hardest memories of our lives so far.

Thank you God for the blessings of these relationships and the joy that we have received from Your gifts.