Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Laundry 501


After doing laundry for 6 people now for about 3 years, I think I've graduated to a post doctorate level of laundry expertise. As I'm letting go of my illusion of control in many areas, it doesn't surprise me that I'm now at the gown wearing, degree toting level of laundry success.

In the last couple of days, I've noticed that some people (names to remain private) are taking off their clothes and leaving them turned inside out. After doing load after load, I realized that I could expedite the process (to move onto more chores - you thought I was going to say something fun, didn't you?) by not folding every piece of laundry that goes into their basket. I mean, it's still CLEAN, which is the goal, right?!?

I know, go ahead and smile and cheer; Regina has experienced a victory in the world of flexibility. Just because I care how my clothes are put into the laundry basket doesn't mean that most other people care at the same capacity that I do or that they even, quite frankly, care! They just want clean clothing and until they are out of the house and regularly washing, week after week, their own clothes, there will be no parade for the laundry queen.

So, since it's not even a category that I can win in (treasures in heaven, treasures in heaven), I've let go. And this is what you get (see picture above - poor lighting since it's in the basement and I still don't know how to use the flash on my phone camera)...6 baskets, filled with clean laundry; some folded, most not. Socks go in the sock basket so when you have the the need for socks; you know where to find them and have the luxury of matching at your own pace.

It so turns out that this higher level of laundry training feels like love. There's no promise that I'll be around to see everyone I live with through to their older years, therefore it stands to reason that there is a need to teach people to fish or in the case, launder.

As you're reading this, you're likely having one of two thoughts - geesh, what took you so long Regina; this isn't a 500 level course, it's beginner level stuff at best OR you're thinking, way to go gurlfriend, you've cracked the code (well, this one anyway). I'm camping out on the latter of the two, but think what you will I finished another load of folding and sorting clean laundry in under 3 minutes.

Until next time, Professor Regina (aka Laundress Extraordinaire)


Friday, November 5, 2010

Our Kitchen Table

I don't know about yours, but our kitchen table ought to be promoted to the 7th member of our family. So much happens around it and it just adapts. When I took these photos, I initially thought of them as individual posts to the blog, but when uploading them onto the computer, I saw the common theme...the kitchen table. Big deal? Keep reading...
Here is Grandma Pam (far right) stopping over for a quick, post Halloween visit to give the kids a few treats. She MADE chocolate suckers for each of us, brought over SillyBandz of all shapes/themes - if you have kids above 5, you know what we're talking about and just a quick hug, squeeze and smile for all of us. It may seem mellow here, but watching it up close was kind of funny because the kids were bartering and trading and identifying - they were so excited about these tiny, but largely thoughtful gifts. And the table was there.
Take two. This is our kitchen table with a few extra faces. The kids come home from school and everyone works at the kitchen table. With our floor plan, I'm able to manage them and be in the kitchen prepping dinner or cleaning a snack (or sometimes quickly check my FB page). Mark set up a play date for BOTH girls at our house. Here they are attempting to meld into the routine that we've established. Veronica's friend, Jayla, got it, but Sabrina's friend Molly was bound to stay away from the kitchen table and see every other corner of our home.

This is where I started to see stability and routine come to fruition. I've heard people talk about how life changing, family altering decisions happen around the table - this is where I'm beginning to believe that it's true; at least for us. Though our kids' friends wanted to have a full on play date, they sat with our own children for 45 minutes and did homework and worked and read like that's what everybody does (and since everyone here does - it was all good). I am thinking some of my hard work and persistence in expecting the kids to take on work is taking affect; doing some good - could it be long lasting?

But wait! There's more...
Now this, this...is the piece de resistance! My favorite snapshot around the kitchen table this week, but quite honestly, in a long time! I came home from Zumba at around 8:30 p.m. Now for those of you who don't know, I'm a big stickler on bed times. In fact, so much so, that I firmly believe that the bedtime is the time to be IN bed, not preparing to be in bed. My husband, wonderful as he is, does not share this same approach; in fact - it's not really his mindset at all (yes, this has been a hot button in our household) so...

When I walked into the house and Sabrina & Veronica were in bed, resting (not having just turned out the lights hurriedly jumping into bed) and Dylan was resting in bed and, And, AND Mark and Taylor were well into a bible study, well I was just in shock! Good shock! Like, no words. I mean, give me a break - I'd given up on the idea that when I leave that the house would be cleaned (kitchen was clean) kids would be showered and in bed (they were) and that rather than watching television or working out together dad & teen would be bonding around God's word...

ONLY THE POWER OF CHRIST PEOPLE!!! A miracle happened and the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

So I share all of this to introduce a new adage. No longer do I concern myself with the history of the house we live in or the tales of those families that lived before us. No, now I consider the powerful kitchen table. So the next time you sit to eat a meal and think little of your family's table, perhaps you'll take a moment or even a few and ask not what you can do for your kitchen table, but what your kitchen table can do for you!?!

Nawww, joking, got a little carried away. It's still just a table; it's the people and experiences around it that make it special. And I wasn't going to share this, but feel I must. The name of the table, "Regina". I kid you not...this table was a part of the Regina Cherry Wood Collection. Little did I know when I bought over 5 years ago (before I knew Mark even existed) would it grow to mean so much.




Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween 2010

Yes, that is Sabrina & Veronica on the dance floor!

They are at a Halloween Dance for kids with Down Syndrome. Mark and the three youngest made their debut at the event and had a great time. There was dinner, a DJ and I believe there was a football game on for the conflicted ones who shall not be named. I'm so glad that Mark took the kids, it was such a great time for them!

Oh, before I forget...Sabrina is a modern day Mulan, Veronica is a fairy princess (don't know where her wings are) and Dylan - out of the shot - is performing magic tricks for some of the other attendees as Obewon Kenobe. Mark is the photographer, along for the ride, making sure the kids have as much fun as their little bodies can stand.

Me & Taylor you ask? We're home...chillin', chillaxin', relaxing, mellowed out (get it?!?). We passed on the noise and fun and traded up (in our home body opinions) for a quiet house. Taylor watched tv, checked his facebook page and played the guitar and I finished the final 250 pages of a 750 page book (finally done with the Harry Potter series - and it only took me 5 months). Our costumes were more of the potato resting on a couch in a leisurely manner type of costume:)

It was a great day. Really, it was. Since I was baptized 11 years ago on this day; I find it changes the vibe of Halloween for me. This is the longest I've been committed to ANYTHING. A marriage, a job, a child, one city, a house...I've not done anything that's required the efforts of being a disciple of Christ and I know I have so much more to learn. God taught me that He will always provide what we need and in the crazy of our family, no matter how diverse. We were altogether at church and ate lunch together while watching the Packer game and then it was scattered for the fun. I think that the more I learn about being flexible, the more God is able to meet the vast needs of my family - I just have to lovingly step aside and let Him do His thing; and this Halloween was proof of that.



Saturday, October 30, 2010

Underwhelmed...

I know, killer costume right? (Thank you Dylan)

So, it's that time of year again...TRICK OR TREAT!!! I don't remember too much of it as a child, but know that it's so convoluted that it reeks of business. I mean, for us it's registering our kids so that they can get a glow bracelet that says, "they paid for your candy, hand it over" oh and while you're paying the $4, they're also scanning your info to see if you've paid your neighborhood association fees. WHAT!?!

Okay, so before it sounds like I'm just complaining - because I know of a few friends that are eager to traipse around in the dark wearing a costume, freezing while begging for candy from perfect strangers, while their kid is either eluding them or complaining that they're tired or they need to be carried or didn't get to enough houses/aka, "I want more candy" - I want to say that I think I'm at a strange place in my life. I don't yet know what to make of it.

I mean, I like the idea of people getting into things as families and neighborhoods and cities, but perhaps I'm jaded since I wish we could do this about things that really changes lives, like EDUCATION or JESUS. Don't suck your teeth at me; couldn't it be that simple? Everyone registers, pays (what they can) and then gets into it! I know, I know...

But, I just can't let go of the idea that there's more to this than what I've been doing lately. I guess perhaps that's the real deal. I'm underwhelmed by my home life, performance, attainment of status/lack of success because I'm too busy too sit back and really be and enjoy the things that I already get to experience. I'm overbooked, overstressed and over blessed, but somehow still manage to consistently be underwhelmed...

Like my Halloween costume. I'm supposed to be a detective by the way. It's a great idea, but because I'm so busy, I didn't put any practice into my accent, finding that stinkin' magnifying glass and really just "getting into it". I also allowed the pressure of others to pull my family apart...Dylan wasn't even here for night time trick or treating with the family - yucky, yuckers! Be patient with me while I go here, but I'm wondering if Dylan's idea for me to be a detective didn't suggest on a whole 'nother level that I ought to turn the magnifying glass on myself.

The magnifying glass would be to help me peel back the layers and really see myself, what I think I'm portraying, what others see and most importantly what God sees. I'm so stressed out that I haven't been able to be the wife, mother, stepmother, friend, neighbor, employee, volunteer, fill in the blank, that I want to be, that I envision myself being and that folks, just makes me sad...disappointed even. It's wearing me out and I think everyone around me too. It's not where I want to be, leaving those around me "underwhelmed", walking around knowing that God wants to BE something better than what I could ever DO and resting within that.

Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself, more time under the microscope with God will tell.




Friday, October 22, 2010

Social Networking - Proclamation 431

I'd hate to think that I'm a rebel at heart, but something in me is seriously questioning all of the "opportunities" (email, phone, texting, Facebook, Twitter, etc) I have to connect with people . Let me go further, people that I wouldn't normally talk to or interact with if not forced to do so in work, volunteer or other situations. Further? I don't have time for your drama folks, I've got a landfill of my own.

Will people miss me on Facebook? I took a deep breath (and held it) and deleted about 275 'friends' from my account. It's MY account, right? So less than 24 hours after doing so, I got a message asking me if the person had done anything to offend me - I think they're wondering why we're not 'friends' on Facebook anymore. I haven't responded because I don't know how to say, "it's not you, it's me" without coming across as flippant.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I liked seeing what folks were up to or hearing/seeing good news; but it was getting a little overwhelming. I'm not God, I can't do anything about your dog dying, your bad break up or tell you to stop swearing or just being dumb...I can't handle all of that information and I realized that I was trying to. Without realizing it, Facebook had become an obligation, to keep my page & photos and clever remarks fresh and new to keep people interested in me. That may not be what it was designed to do, but it was what was happening to me.

This morning, I read about not being mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6: 9 - 20) and I had step back and realize that the stress I'm carrying in my shoulders is coming (partly) from being TOO connected. Ya feel me? Sometimes, there's just too much availability. I spent 20 minutes reading Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince in my sun warmed window seat (that my husband customized for me) and you would've thought that I'd won the lottery. I couldn't stop beaming enjoying the simplicity of those minutes, uninterrupted, quiet, focused and I knew that God gifted that to me. How many gifts do I miss everyday wondering what a Facebook 'friend' that I never talk to, email or see is doing or thinking at that very moment. How much do I miss while worrying rather than enjoying the blessings?

Please hear me when I say that Facebook is not evil. It is a "permissible" thing, it's fine to catch up quickly, confirm a detail or two; I like that about Facebook. And I like a lot that the founder is donating a ton o money for seemingly good causes; but I have allowed this social networking situation to turn into something that steals my peace and joy. I am right now debating whether I will deactivate my account, that will take some more thought, but I am going to continue to weed down and out the people I'm calling my 'friends'. 100 seems like a good goal?!? Down from over 500, you bet! Quality over quantity, I always (well, almost always) say.

In exchange for the brief, stinted communications & posts via Facebook, I'm striving for returning to the days of Emily Post where people send hand written cards or make telephone calls or heck, even stop by or plan a visit to see one another in person. Change is a 'comin' and here's to getting a little bit of peace back!







Thursday, October 21, 2010

I fixed it...

It is a cheese slicer.

A fairly nice one too...

Anyway, we've been using it a lot and then it broke! Got broken, we broke it, someone broke my cheese slicer!!!

I kept moving it around the kitchen counter to different places thinking that I'd need to have someone else look at it or fix it or just buy a new one (usually my favorite choice), until something in me said, "slow down and take a look." So, I slowed and prayed and took it apart, looked at and realized that I could fix this. The wire was simply loose and needed to be re-tightened, no tools and done! No need for a new cheese slicer and spending money we don't really have and a new found sense of accomplishment. I did it!

Such a big deal because there are so many things that I can NOT fix. So many things, I get bogged down in them. My marriage is not easy, communication is rough. Being a stepparent is challenging at every turn; there seems to be some cosmic law that says that it's not possible to have a great relationship with all of them at the SAME TIME. The relationship with the biological one is strained as he's moved into middle school and seems to wrestle daily with this idea that he loves me and thinks I'm cool and wishes I'd leave him alone and go to another planet. My job, my volunteer responsibilities, the scratches on the truck, my horrible "bad hair day" streak and on and on.

There is so much I can not change about the world around me, the people I love and even sometimes, myself.

Enter...God's perfect love. Even as I'm typing this, I know that I'm not fully amendable to 1 Corinthians 13 as a state of being. Living perfect love, I'm desperate for God to fix this in me. I'm so serious and protective at times I want to be playful and free spirited. I'm calculating, attempting to consider how person Q is going to hurt me the first chance they get. I worry about what people who are no more better off than me will think of me and how they will treat me when they realize how much of a mess I really am. Me, BEING love, it's complicated.

Then I have this revelation...what if I'm as simple to repair as the cheese slicer. What if God is just waiting to tweak me, tighten me in needed areas, relieve the slack in others? What if I'm making this more complicated? Yes, I realize that all of those are yeses or high in probability. The coolest thought I've come to though is that God, like me, wants to fix me and then hold me up proudly to show others what He's done. I have to be moldable, permissive, submissive and willing to allow Him to transform me into His likeness.

Don't get me wrong, while I've made a connection between my heart and our granite topped cheese slicer, I know that God's repair of my heart will take longer, but I now have faith that I don't have to view it as complicated and need to trust that He does not have plans to replace me.

It's good to be a cheese slicer.




Wednesday, October 20, 2010

7:49 a.m.

On a weekday morning, this is one of the most precious times for me. I close the door behind the 11 year old bustling out the front door with two rollers and a pile of hairspray in his hair for "Crazy Hair Day" and out the back door go the Four Muskateers. They are carrying backpacks, dad's lunch & briefcase, stepping over and into each other to get out the door and into the best seat in the minivan (yes, he drives the minivan).

I lean against the door and let out a huge sigh, almost immediately feeling guilty for being relieved to be alone.

In college, I had an apartment by myself during my senior year and though I enjoyed the quaintness of the apartment, I did not know how to be alone and ruined the experience (another blog for another day). Sometimes, I now long for that apartment or one similar to it where I can go and things are left just as I left them - unbroken - and smelling the same (seriously) and also fully stocked with my kind of foods and books and all of my channels preset on the television.

I don't stay long in that thought though because none of my peeps would be there.

Before I run off to fulfill the obligations of my day, I'll spend some quality time with God, reading the Bible & praying about all sorts of things & many different people. But I wanted to take a few minutes to mark the momentous occasion of 7:49 when all is quiet in my world.




Friday, October 1, 2010

Camp Hope

The anticipation is killing me, but this is how he chooses to walk into a new situation - not knowing anyone...

We are in Stevens Point chillaxin' the night before a new experience for dealing with old things (it's just Dylan and me).  Nervous about not yet having seen a lot of the reactions to death that we were told to expect, I figured his being a middle schooler and the high voltage of coming hormones might bring a lot of things to the surface.  I spoke to Dylan's 6th grade counselor in the spring and he recommended this FREE opportunity for Dylan to interact with other kids who are experiencing grief due to the loss of a parent or loved one.

This is the first time I've ever left Dylan with someone I didn't know or have some sort of connection with.  They have an orientation for him and then one for me (to put my nerves at ease) and then I leave my baby and drive 2 hours back home.  Not the end of the story...

On the way to this camp I've never been to before, I realized that I've been to Point before to visit the family of a dear friend (the one that reads this blog) and I was able to call her and get her parent's phone number to leave with the camp in case we need someone here quickly - more quickly than 2 hours away.  Emotional breakdown averted!

As I'm working through all of this, what is Dylan doing?  Not fretting one bit, he's still chillin' as shown above; is this is his dad in him?  I think so...

That's the other thing.  If I'm honest with myself reader, I'm wondering if I've done enough preparing Dylan for this type of situation.  He was only 6 when we buried Chad, his memories are feeble and are only bolstered when we spend deliberate time talking about him or surround him with those willing to dig past their pain to mention their memories of Chad.  His pain may be so distant compared to some others, will he be sensitive, considerate?  Will he feel like he has to take care of others because his memories and experience aren't as new?   Basically, did I do this right?!?

If you don't know me by now, you can trust that I'm praying about this. Things lined up within our schedules for Dylan to be here (no soccer games, no plans for us as a family) and he expressed sincere interest in being able to attend. When I asked him about 2 months ago, he replied with hesitation, "there'll be other kids like me?" - this sealed the deal for him...and for me.  I trust that this is one of those lessons that I get to learn about letting go; letting him grow from me and being reminded of how little control I have - no matter the work I've invested in him, he's growing up and away from me.

No matter how this camp goes, there's still hope.


Friday, June 18, 2010

A lot of growing...


There's been a lot of "getting older" going on around here. Dylan turned 11 on June 5 and Sabrina celebrated her 11th birthday on the 18th. It's been busy! With end-of-the-year promotions, end of the year field trips, my parent's 39th anniversary (sorry I didn't get you anything yet), Father's Day and nail & hair appointment (on different days no less) , it's been difficult to believe that this month still has more stuff to put into it.

My husband, Mark & I lead the Junior High Teen Ministry at our church (7th & 8th graders) and today was the "Promotion Ceremony" - it was fun, stained by one major absence - Taylor; my 14 year old stepson. Why he wasn't present, I will not share about in this forum, in another day or two, will it even matter? But, I realized how much I missed him and wanted to have some closure on his time with us in this ministry as well recognizing a big transition - going on to high school. This summer isn't going to happen again for him in the same way. I know it's inevitable that kids grow and grow up and grow apart from the adults in their lives, I mean I wasn't going to go through a box of Kleenex over it, but I felt robbed of the opportunity to officially marker the moment. I think I've gained a little better insight to what Mark must experience only seeing pieces of 3 of his children's development, growth & choices; and two different households really can & do bring out different things in the same 3 that I'm speaking of - it's very interesting.

Anyhoo, having so much growth in the Erickson Posse, even in the 2 years since we've met and began bonding this family, I feel the pull everyday that we make more memories and spend more time. It's like a wicked, twisted curse. Okay, perhaps that's a bit dramatic, it's more likely another opportunity to pray and for ME to grow closer to God. Really, THE point. As our kids grow, we grow - they force us to. We can't do and say and be who we always were - we've got to evolve and change and be willing to grow, dig and shed layers and try on new skin. It's so hard, because the biggest revelation I have in all of this is that it seems - and it's not completely confirmed yet - that I'm turning into my parents and even more frightening a fan of how they disciplined in particular. I hated it while going through it (or receiving it, shall we say), but would so like to expose the children to just.a.little.taste. It's all perspective people.

Birthdays are only once a year and a significant markers for the growth of a person. We're learning to celebrate each child individually to their liking. With Dylan we took on a full on theme for his birthday, but Brina had a large, personal cupcake for breakfast on her birthday - less attention, less rigamarole (so excited I got to use that word). I'd like to think that neither child would complain. At our personal family meal when we celebrate someone, especially on their birthday, we share what we love about them. It's only been 2 years as a "fam" that we've been doing this and it was the youngest who asked at Brina's breakfast birthday celebration - "Can we go around and say what we love about Sabrina"? We did.

It was a great family time. The things that were shared were different, new. Sabrina HAS grown a lot. Not just physically (can you say training bra? huh, hem), but emotionally too. This young lady is really working hard to speak multi-syllable phrases and initiating them on her own. One day last week, she was finishing up her breakfast at the table and I heard her say, "Na (what she calls me)?, Nunclock". I stepped closer and she pointed at the clock across the room and repeated herself and guess what - IT WAS NINE O'CLOCK! Watch out world, Sabrina's showing up and growing up.

We all are, together. It's no easy task, but we're in it, to win it and the rewards of the growing pains are good.





Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Are We Blended Yet?

Have you ever noticed that I don't ever write about my stepchildren on Facebook? Maybe in a few years, I'll feel differently, but right now the relationships we're building are still so fragile and new. I share this blog with folks I know (at least I think I do) and believe that you, reader, know that my intentions are loving & sincere. I need an outlet to share my thoughts and heart about being a mom & stepmom and this is the safest, most public venue that I do that in.

So one thing about us: we host a Bible Talk in our home every other Wednesday. We have three other couples that join us (you can see Christine in the background). We open the Bible together and often have the kids stay with us for the lesson and learn about God as a family; tonight was one of those nights.

The focus of the lesson was "family" and doing things TOGETHER. I don't know about you, but I don't have a file cabinet full of memories of my parents, brother and I doing all of this stuff together - at least not in comparison to what our kids experience now. We were asked to "Get together in your family and determine your best memory as a family." I developed a bit of anxiety because we were by far the newest of the four families present and I think, without even realizing it, I reverted back to my own childhood & family memories. Within seconds, e6 was grouped and talking. Everyone shared, but there was consensus fairly quickly, but most encouraging was that we had options to pick from, we had options to discuss.

It was so heartwarming because everyone in our family smiled as Mark was sharing the memory he chose and I could feel this invisible, but thick rubber band latching us together. It was...a moment (for me). I needed this, because sometimes I falter in my definition of family these days. Defining the us Ericksons never seems straightforward and easy.

Just yesterday, I was meeting a couple of girlfriends at Bux and a gentleman, who's daughter goes to school with Veronica and I started chatting. As I was walking away, he asked, "You're Veronica's Mom, right?"

Pause. Feel the awkwardness. No, wait a little longer.

He has yelled this question across the parking lot (he had a cast on his foot) and I have a second to make it less awkward than it feels to me.

"I'm her STEPMOTHER", I yell back as I walk away - with, I think, a smile.

***
Back to the picture above...

It's difficult a lot of the time weaving and bobbing through the blended family thing (it does feel like you're in a boxing ring sometimes), but it's so worth it when our family feels we have a bond amongst ourselves. I give lots of credit to God for giving me Mark as a husband. He is no joke when it comes to planning FUN, because of his desire to have FUN & make memories, we were able to answer the question about a favorite family memory - easily.

When Ron (what I've been calling Veronica lately) stepped up to compete in the cup challenge - against a boy, I might add - I was sitting behind her, talking in her ear. Whispering words of encouragement, cheering her on, telling her she could do it, to be patient and stay focused and that we knew she could do this - and she did. She won! We sat next to one another on the couch afterwards and after all of the high-fiving was finished, I looked her in the eye and told her how proud of her I was for giving her best. And - wait, there's something in my eye (wink, wink), - she looked at me, beamed and hugged me. Ahhhh. Another...moment.

This family is coming together. We are bonding and enjoying one another more and more. It's moments like these that have helped me to realize that I'm in the very place I'm supposed to be with the exact family that is I'm supposed to be. Complicated as it is, we're learning about loving one another and truly being our best together.

Even with such wonderful moments like these, I can't help but wonder, "are we blended yet"?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Rebooting...

Has it really been since March that I've written a post?  I guess the blog doesn't lie.

Anyhoo, I'm back, rebooting, recharging and gearing up to write (again).  I'm not going to overanalyze why I haven't chosen to write; it basically boils down to letting other people get into my head. You ever do that?  Let people cause you doubt what you know you oughta be doing?  I used to do it all of the time, but less as I get older.  So, I'm back to writing - again!  

So, let's say that I've just hit the "sync" button and that I am working hard to get things back to "normal".  The family is away on a mini-vacation up in the Dells and I, poor me, have been left to my own devices here in an empty house for 3 days, 2 nights.  I've been thinking a lot about this and wondering how to say this so that everyone reading would understand, but - IT'S HEAVENLY, WONDERFUL, AMAZING!!! Can you picture me doing "the Carlton" in my kitchen with a big grin on my face?  It's - oh that good!  Now, I will offer the regular caveat - I miss my family and am excited to see them, but for right now - I'm so glad to be home alone.  

I've cleaned, read, watched television, caught up on months of work, painted my nails, eaten good food, slept great. It's truly been a great start to the summer. Right now, my feet are up, I'm waiting for the next load of laundry to beep at me and finally catching up on the final season & episode of "24". It may have taken me another few months to get my act together and get these important things done.

It's been my transition into summer that I'm making.  I'm so hoping that I can do this again next year.  Oh God please give me this opportunity next year.  With so many plans for summer, there's so much to look forward to and prepare for, it'll be July before we know it. I get to go to Grand Convention in Arizona (look for a post in a couple of weeks), then to visit friends in Oklahoma for the 4th and then on a week long trip to Georgia to visit my folks. It sounds like a lot on paper and I believe it'll be a lot when it comes to packing and the actual enjoying of these experiences - stay tuned for those posts as well.  July slows and hopefully I'll get to do a lot of reading and clearing out for a potential guest room remodel in the fall.  (Oh, I'm hoping this will happen - you're welcome to come and stay with us!)  Then in August we'll really have only a few weeks to enjoy the kids because at one point or another, someone will be at summer camp.  Then SCHOOL!!!  With having a high school freshman and a first year middle schooler, there will be some adjustments on the homefront to make.

In addition to all of that, there is plenty to look forward to for me as I settle more into my life here in Wauwatosa.  I've signed on as the PTA Treasurer, Soccer Team Manager (Gooo Galaxy!) and am holding down two Advisory Board Positions for Theta (Advisory Board Chair & Development).  I'm super excited!  I'm mostly looking forward to meeting new people and experiencing things I wouldn't normally get to enjoy or see due to the people I'll be interacting with. I'm even looking forward to challenges and opportunities for growth - as I'm sure that they'll occur.

I want to send a mini-shout out to my neighbor who glanced at my blog and likely without realizing it, encouraged me to write again. I'm so grateful, I hope to keep writing and have some funny, heartwarming, real and sometimes profound posts to share in the near future.

Here's to a full recharge for me and blogging "Life with the Ericksons".  


Sunday, March 21, 2010

And the Award Goes To...

Let me first say that until my hubby strong armed me into watching this year's Academy Awards; I'd gone most of my years without watching even 15 minutes of it, but am very glad that I joined him for this year's Oscars.  It gave me a frame of reference for my experience at the 2009 All Greek Awards Ceremony at UW-Madison.   

In the Spring of 1992, I joined Kappa Alpha Theta Fraternity at UW-Madison.  As an undergrad, I never thought of myself as a leader in the chapter.  I lived in the chapter my senior year in college and held the position of Social Chair.  In a predominantly while sorority, I was often insecure about what I had to offer and am glad for the consistent opportunities to break out of my comfort zone.  Oddly enough, I'm now the Advisory Board Chair for the same chapter I joined over 15 years ago.  This means that I oversee the board of other advisors and assist them in their work with the chapter officers; our primary goal is to help guide the women in success as they manage the organization. I absolutely enjoy the position and all that comes with it.  I get to work with a lot of different women and seem to be doing a good job at it; even when they're displeased with me and some of my techniques and decisions along the way.  

One of the ways my hard work was recently recognized was at the All Greek Awards; which I must admit - I didn't know it even existed (and they've been doing it for 19 years).  Above, I'm holding my plaque for "Outstanding Chapter Advisor".  I didn't know that I was nominated.  I opened my email about 3 weeks ago and received a congratulatory note from the President of the All Greek Council letting me know that I'd been nominated in November last year and that I'd won.  I was surprised, so I did what anyone would do...I wrote back and asked what the criteria was in their selection process and then looked the organization up on the Internet to see if this was legit.  (I know, I'm working on receiving great things)  Turns out, the woman on 2nd from the left in the picture above - Molly Stamer, the 2009 Theta Chapter President had nominated me months ago on her own volition.  

When looking at the website (http://www.uwgreek.com/community/aga.html) validated how much bigger of a deal than I'd originally thought it would be.   There are over 30 Greek organizations on the UW campus and out of those, I was a winner!  Not only did I win, but Theta took home 3 additional awards.  So it was a win-win-win-win situation (gotta watch "The Office" to get that one).  

Naomi, on the far left is holding the "Chapter of Excellence Award", I'm holding my award, then Molly is holding hers, "Outstanding Chapter President" and Kim is holding the "Risk Management Award".   After the ceremony, one of the Fraternity boys that they know came over to the table and said, "You all cleaned up!".  That we did and it was such a huge encouragement, especially having been on probation for a large part of 2009.  I was so proud of them and of myself too.  The plaque is sitting in the middle of the dining room table on display for now.  If only there were Academy-esque Award Ceremonies for being a wife or mother...

For now, this award will have to do; so with that...my acceptance speech.

I'd like to thank the AGA Council for existing and taking time out of their busy schedules to recognize those of us dedicated to volunteerism within the Greek System.  I'd also like to thank Jenny Nichols for recruiting me back into this position - some days that's a thank you and others, well...it's not.  To my husband for finally coming around and supporting me even though I'm a 37 year old with an English major and Master's Degree in Education and still can not explain why I enjoy working with Theta so very much.  Of course to the collegians, this award would not have been possible without a nomination from them as well as the every day things they do that keep me on my toes:)  And mostly, to God for encouraging me in this very special way. 




Girl Time

Yep, go ahead...awwwww!!!!

They are cute aren't they?  Veronica, 7 is on the left and Sabrina, 10 is on the right.  For the record, this is the best photo of Sabrina that I've ever been able to take.  Such cuties.  We are at Ted's Diner; a local ma & pop diner here in Wauwatosa.  I don't know if my family is pulling my leg, but this old time diner has been there for over 15 years and I was the one that introduced the family to it...yaaaa me!

With Mark, Taylor and Dylan out of town for the Springfield Church Lock-In, the girls and I were left to our own devices.  Since they were living it up in their boy world, we were going to treat ourselves a little bit.  We got up and ready for church and skipped into Ted's for cereal, juice and the breakfast special and the best dining experience.  I sat in the middle of the two.  

Sabrina to my left, slammed her orange juice down lightening fast, eyeing up the basket of lollipops behind the counter.  Veronica on my right, spun round and round on the diner stool talking and asking about 3 questions a minute.  It was such a calm time together and incredibly bonding.

I'm more into quality time than anything, so this was a great time for me to bond with the girls as we continue to build our relationship with one another.  Who but God knows what the future holds for these lovely girls, but I'm so glad that I know them and have been able to be a part of their growth and development and hope to be a positive contribution to their future upbringing, life experience and especially in their life long choices as they continue to grow.

Girls just wanna have fun!


Friday, March 19, 2010

Boys Will Be Boys...

I couldn't believe it.  We were with two other families for our bi-monthly Bible Talk.  After the brief lesson and some snacks, the adults were chatting and I looked over and saw this.  Our 14 year old boy was sitting in the middle of the basement floor playing with wrestling figures (dare I say dolls?) and a wrestling ring.  At one point, he was making them fight one another and adding in their dialogue.  It was jaw dropping and tenderizing all at the same time.  

If you haven't met Taylor, let me say, he's my hands on, close up window into teenage boys.  He'll be 15 in November and is talking about and thinking about things that I wish the brain was hardwired to consider at 30.  It's surreal; wasn't I just avoiding openness with my parents about this stuff only a few years ago?  

It's daunting to me to know exactly how best to respond to teenagerness.  Fortunately, Mark is conversational with the kids and is still in the dialogue with Taylor about all of the tough stuff.  I've been invited in on the periphery - as long as I don't freak out or have an instant panic attack when he shares; which may have happened, I'm not at liberty to say at this moment.  We are also blessed to have friends with teenage boys that know Taylor and have known him since before I came on the scene; they are my partners in staying afloat.  It's also great to have Elders in our church that are on to grandchildren and have lived through this whole teenage phenomenon on the parent side and have come out stronger and excited to help the rest of us.  

Let me just KIR (Keep It Real) right now...

This boy, child, non-working person in our home is asking about sex.  Aaaaaaaaa!  Breathe, breathe...Aaaaaaaaa!!!!

And the craziest thing is that it's normal, right?  The hormones are raging, man.  There's not a mirror that he can't walk past without taken an extended look and then flexing.  Getting him to wear a shirt around the house is like trying to get extra luggage checked at the airport without charge.   I'm stunned that we are going through this right now.  

I do trust that God has got this.  Just like many have given birth and gotten a baby out of the deal, many have additionally lived through parenting teens.  In my spare time, I'm reading a book called, "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy". So far the pieces and parts I've been able to read, particularly about teens, divorce and blended families have been incredibly enlightening.  Please pray for me, I'm trying to balance being involved and supportive while remembering that I'm not a primary parent to Taylor and have never been (nor never plan to be) a boy.  I pray regularly and know that God is in control.

So, as we ride this wild ride, know that I have two double seat belts buckled as I try to remind myself that "boys will be boys"...until they become men.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bon Appetit to Me

Downtown Milwaukee has a historical portion of the city called "The Third Ward."  It reminds me so much of Madison's State Street that I feel very at home there.  I've been down there many times and it's been wonderful to have the experience, but today's time was beyond memorable. Though the skies were overcast and a chill hung in the air, I bounced across the street with a pep in my step to see what I could see.   Having been to a food tasting at this location a couple of years ago, Mark signed up for their email blast and saw a cooking class for making crepes. Crepes!?!  In Milwaukee?  My last experience with crepes were in France along the Mediterranean with friends.  We were barely speaking as we took the amazingness of this dish into our mouths.  Does it sound fabulous?  That's because it was. Due to the incredible experience before I never wanted to mess with what I remembered as perfect...until now.

The class was more than crepes.  It was instructional, but also incredibly interactive.  I am one of the 5 folks that got up and tried to make the crepes in front of everyone.  It's a working kitchen, much like the ones you see on tv.  The "students" sat facing the kitchen at tables and could hear the chef speak (he was miked).  It was intimate with 16 learners, 1 chef, his wife as his assistant and a few volunteers.  They really did encourage us to ask questions and participate.  The group was largely shy, but I surprised myself several times by asking a couple of questions and introducing myself to a married couple and chatting with them.  I know a lot more about fancy food than I thought and have a ton to learn.   The chef made each of the recipes; they gave us copies of each of the recipes that he made for us.  We had "Soupe au Pistou", "Pesto", "Bouillabaisse", "Rouille" - which was this amazing spread that I can't wait to make, "Crepes & Galettes", "Crepe Suzette".  Tasting all of it was such a reward and especially inspiring, oh and yummers.  Did I mention that they served a glass of Rose with it?!?  Cherry on top!
This is Chef Pierre.  He's from France.  He speaks French.  Need I say more?  It was difficult to understand everything that he said, but I was taken back to my years of learning the language. Surprised by how much I was able to understand (he was cracking a lot of jokes) of what he was saying.  It made me miss the language and consider going back and refreshing myself in this area.  As Chef Pierre was coaching me (the first to try making and flipping crepes) he said my name....notice there is no name tag...I learned later that hubby had introduced himself to the Chef and facilitator before the class and talked them into getting me involved and in front of the group.  Chef was hilarious because he acted suddenly like he couldn't hear a word that I was saying, while keeping a smile/smirk on his face.  I did fairly well on my turn, but when he turned his back to put some dishes out of the way, my crepe didn't land exactly centered - see my face.

I'm so glad I got to experience this class.  As I'm finding my way, it's stops along the road like this one that are rejuvenating to me.  I found that I am more of a natural in the kitchen than I thought.  Most importantly though, I was super proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new.  What's best about it is that my husband suggested and supported it, that means a lot to me.

The biggest thing that I learned from Chef Pierre and this experience was not to be "pharmaceutical" in cooking, but to embrace the passion that it can bring out and have fun, to cook freely...to become more of an experimenter and romantic cook.  I think I can and look forward to enjoying some really delicious food.

As the French would say, Bon Appetit!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Family Night Out

Sometimes I think we over plan our times as a family.  Mark is definitely a cruise director of sorts and can hatch some pretty intense family fun.  

This night was more up my alley...

The school district's Art Teachers and Barnes & Noble (at Mayfair) partnered up to display the kids' artwork and our two resident artists' work are currently on display.  So we packed the kids up and headed to the mall to see their work.  Dylan's work was on the side as we were heading up the escalator; see him pointing?   I couldn't get closer without hurting myself.  It's a purple box with some collectible items painted red stuck inside the box.  It's art folks!
Sabrina's work (below) took longer to find.  Unlike Dylan she wasn't as excited about the search for her work, but we weren't leaving until we found both 10 year old's work. It's kind of VanGogh isn't it?
Hugs and kisses for the princess painter!  
It was a great night out.  

Simple, not without its glitches and challenges and some testing, but overall a great family night out. 

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Mother Son Time

One mom.  Check!  One soccer playing son.  Double Check! Milwaukee Wave Professional Soccer Team...yaaaa!!!

I ordered 2 tix for Dylan and me to see the soccer team play; they're very good!  Mark was awesome enough to hold down the fort, so that Dylan and I could have this time together.  I took him to Noodles for lunch and listened to his 10 year old mind. Watching him while he spoke made me eager for the next time that we'd be able to hang out together.  He's so interesting and right on about some of his observations.   With him starting middle school in the fall, I know major changes are coming and I want to stay as connected as possible during this potentially tumultuous time.  

I really felt it was a sacrifice for me to be taking him to this game.  I don't even understand soccer (I've purchased and am reading "Soccer for Dummies") and wanted more than anything to be home resting after having hosted 4 college boys at our house for the weekend.    I couldn't have planned something better for us to do.  

The Wave experience is very energetic!  It was amazingly loud too - I think my ears may still be ringing...

My favorite thing was when they played, "Jump Around" by House of Pain and Dylan invited me to join him and I did and not only did I enjoy it, but I kept up with him throughout the entire thing.  We fell down into our seats laughing and bonded after 1 minute of sheer silliness.  I was reminded of how important it is to be and have fun with our kids. Even more importantly, I was reminded of how important 1-1 time with each of our kids is; how we need to put that into our schedules and then act on it...regularly!

It doesn't have to be fancy, but it does need to be done, for them as much as for ourselves.  How many other reasons will I find that allow me to be more free to be childlike than when actually with our children?  

So, the next time you find me behaving immaturely, give me the benefit of the doubt and ask if I've recently spent 1-1 time with one of the kids:)