Thursday, January 21, 2010

"Open" House


We just got back from Dylan's Open House.  

For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, the school that your child goes to opens up in the evening and you mill around for a non-alcoholic social hour with teachers, students and art work.  It's an opportunity for you to meet other staff members and other parents and basically to make sure your child isn't on the naughty list throughout the day.  It can be a time of support for a child too as this is their domain and they actually want you there to share in it.  We got to look at his schoolwork, though it's not really what he wanted us to see most.  Thankfully, the teachers post it and we're able to gaze it at our leisure.  This is their freedom of speech opportunity (and also a chance for me to check his progress).

After chatting with another parent, Mark summons me over and shows me this poem (I stand corrected, "rap") written by Dylan.

If you couldn't read it, here's what it says:

"Dads"

Dads are very cool,
They can be very fun.
He'll take me to the pool,
He'll never feed me chum.
He can sometimes be rough,
When he yells in a store.
In a month he'll be buff,
But by doing all my chores.

My dad is superman,
Except without the cape.
he is so strong he'll open a can,
With the power of his fate.
My dad loves me,
But he could get very mad.
He's afraid of bees,
And he's my only dad.

By:  Dylan Simon

I was in awe when I read it.  Rubbing my husband's back, I watched him like a hawk as he soaked in the good and hard to hear parts of this poem.  It's a fairly sober judgement of Mark (though he's actually more afraid of spiders than bees). We often value Dylan's insight for a 10 year old, though it can be tough to swallow at times - you should've heard what he told me a couple of days ago.  The challenge of seeing Mark's anger written about from his stepson's perspective is washed away when the magnitude of the last line offers a decision of finality in accepting Mark as his father, his only one.  If you know anything of what this boy went through as a 6 year old burying his birth father and the stress, weight and sadness of that, then you get a glimpse of how meaningful this final line is.  I had no idea that he'd written this poem and had these feelings and am absolutely warmed over that Mark discovered it at the school tonight first.  He was speechless and almost a little teary-eyed.

It is something validating when your child recognizes your strengths beyond your flaws, but when a stepchild does it; whew, there are no words...

(tears choked back)

I'm glad we went to the Open House and that Dylan let us (and other readers) into his heart.  I look forward to seeing their relationship develop over the coming years.  

He's in good hands Chad.




Sunday, January 17, 2010

Psi Leadership Conference

You are looking at a photo of the 2010 Executive Members of Kappa Alpha Theta Fraternity (UW - Madison, Psi).  If you know even one of them, you are a fortunate person.  These women have a high quality to them and their character.  Before the 14th, I knew very little of each of them, but now feel incredibly glad to know more of their personalities and have had a tiny little bit to do with them getting prepared for an incredible experience in their leadership roles within the organization.

I am the Advisory Board Chair of Kappa Alpha Theta Fraternity, Psi Chapter.  It is my college chapter when I was a student at UW-Madison in the early 90s.  It is a social organization whose ideals are deep, meaningful and lifelong.  I am grateful to be a part of this organization and to be able to lend some of my strengths and experiences to these up and coming leaders.  

The conference was something I'd learned about from an advisor training I'd attended with the organization last summer in Dallas.  It was inspiring, giving me words to explain what I feel in my heart toward Theta and what it stands for (to me).  I was renewed in my commitment when I realized I could emulate the idea of hosting a small conference for the chapter's leaders setting them up for the offices they've been selected to hold this year.  

Let me say, I do like MOST meetings (ones I organize and ones I attend).  I'm not sure if it's that I like to "be in the know" or if I enjoy being around people with a like-minded focus or if it's just that I like to be bossy; but this kind of thing is actually very exhilarating to me.  I learned about the potential of this event in June of 09 and went hardly a week without talking about how to make it happen with someone, anyone...okay, everyone.  

First, I had to get my husband to buy in.  Remember, we're still a fairly newly married couple (see first post of blog) and I'm gearing up to organize and facilitate a 3 night, 3 day conference in a city away from my family.  He would be holding down the fort with me away and I know that's not his favorite thing.  So, let's just say, until I got the okay from him (aka, "the man") there was no need to proceed with conversations and thoughts about this.  It took some convincing and some prayer, but he came up with a solid "yes".  This is a big deal seeing as though he doesn't have any personal relationships or understanding of those in the Greek Community and likely - like many others - only hear the negative things reported or believe the stereotypes that they hear.

Let's be honest, if I'd told you I was in sorority when you first met me, would I have fit your idea of what that meant? 
Didn't think so...

Anyway, once we agreed upon a date that worked for us as a family and matched the college/school schedule and their taking the office - the planning began!

Let's just say June - January was a lot of starts and stops, detours, crossroads, thoughts about quitting, disinterest, lack of motivation and spurts of excitement, votes for approvals, budget requests, shopping around for discounts, writing agendas, inundating communications to the collegians and advisors about the topic and especially prayer.  I knew that with my life and so many transitions, I would NOT be able to pull this off on my own sheer will & determination.

I really enjoy the process of the planning and pulling things together...the details of something like this...it's, it, um, let's see...it's just "fun".  I guess I'm spending a lot of time writing about this as I think I'm still trying to find out what I wanna do when I grow up.  This magnitude of training and planning came naturally to me.  Few other topics make as much sense to me - did I mention that I was the Advisory Board Chair back in the late 90s early 00s?  It's a language that makes a lot of sense to me...

Don't roll your eyes, I'm serious, there's something incredibly invigorating about this for me.

We were busy.  There were meetings and activities and very good food (Casa Del Sol & Laura's house...yummy!). There was time for questions, difficult discussions and decision making.  There was laughter as well as tears.  Music and sleeping in.  Bonding between the collegians with one another and even collegians and advisors.  There was even a hilarious incident of "leaving a man behind".  I am so confident, that even though I ought to be napping rather than typing this, that this conference was worth the lack of sleep, time with my family and missing some of my favorite alone/down-time.

I hope that the one weekend commitment will pay great dividends.  Time will tell; while waiting, so grateful that Theta IS for a lifetime.




  



Tuesday, January 12, 2010

New Year, New Me

I saw Julie & Julia twice in one week.  It motivated me to make sure that I take some opportunities to "just" write.  I often delay in writing and presenting these posts because I've convinced myself that my reader (thanks Mom!) needs a picture.  Most of the time, I will take photos and I will use them to help me write, but I want to be in the habit of getting to this and getting it out to you.  

With a New Year comes resolutions.  I didn't do the research to figure out why we are so fond of them, I only know that my personal track record with these has a pretty low success rate (for remembering the resolutions AND following through with them).  As I am a baptized disciple of Jesus Christ (10 years on Halloween 2009), it is inherent that I must embrace the word, "transformation."  It is real and necessary to have a personal relationship with Him.  I believe in its power, therefore, I trust it to change me.

That said, I still didn't come up with any specific resolutions, but even being only 12 days into the 2010 year, I see something that I believe that God and those close to me would be glad if I could give some extra attention to.  And that friends is...HUMILITY.    That's right, HUMILITY.  I'm writing it in all capital letters because I'm shouting it for you to hear, I'm actually proclaiming it.  I am focused on being a humble woman of God.  Now, don't get me wrong, I realize that putting it out there for you to read means that you'll be checking up on me to see how said humility goes...

That's a part of why I'm doing it.  The bigger reason is to bring glory to God.  Since I've been trying for a few decades now to be a humble, secure woman, not needing to compare myself or judge others based upon my experience, train of thought or my emotions toward them - to no avail, it will be only by the grace of God that I can be transformed into a woman of sincere humility.  

I don't have a detailed, outlined plan.  My basic plan at this point is to pray daily and read scriptures about humility, memorize them and then when the opportunities come (as I know they will) to BE humble.  I believe God can work with that plan and probably has bigger, better plans than that - gotta start somewhere right?

To be honest, I'm not as enthusiastic about this as say an all-expense paid trip to Mexico, but, I'm eager to reap the benefits of obedience to God and true transformation away from pride and judgement.  2010 seems as good a year as any to be changed, right?

If this is all gibberish to you and you want it all simplified, my only other goal is to read all 7 of the Harry Potter books this summer.   Over 4000 pages in 3 months...

New Year: happy - New Me: holy