Friday, February 19, 2010

It's my party...

Happy Birthday Party to me!

I had a great time...food, friends, clothes, wine and PURSES!!!!  I have not one picture to share because I was workin' my party.  See, I threw myself a shindig since Mexico (my ultimate first choice for annual birthday celebrations) isn't looking like it's gonna happen this year.   If I'm not going to have all that I want, I'm still going to have fun.  

The weather was so beautiful for February!  The sun was so bright and the temperature so warm, I got the feeling it was spring and actually started a little spring cleaning.  All of the sun shining into the room was rejuvenating.  I really actually felt like it was a small gift for me from God and I danced my way through the work of preparing our home for my party.  The food was simple, nothing homemade or totally original (except for my fresh mozzarella, avocado, tomato, topped with fresh basil snack - healthy and tasty right) but plentiful.  I even got my husband to spice up some kielbasa to have some substance to the light appetizers.  I should've taken a picture of the table; it was magazine worthy. We had all sweet wines, my favorite.  I bought an ice cream cake, yummy.  No candles, but they sung to me.  
We tried on Jockey clothing; thanks Vanessa!  Friends sat through a 15 minute introduction to the clothes and the business opportunity and then we were trying on the clothes.  This part of the party was held in our newly remodeled upstairs bedroom space, it was like a personal dressing room.  Not everyone knew each other, but folks jumped in and modeled outfits and complimented one another and just did the girl thing.   If this wasn't every one's "thing", but then there was the PURSE SWAP at the end of the night.

While ordering their Jockey wear, we did the purse swap downstairs in the dining/living room.  I wish, wish, wish I'd remembered to take a picture of all of the purses that we got to choose from.  I chose to host a purse swap because of my absolute love for them as well as my realization of my over indulgence in them.  I know that you can only carry one at a time, but more than shoes or even clothes; I love me a fun (usually big) purse or tote.  I waited until everyone else went, we were able to go through 2 rounds and ended with up small brown purses.  No mind; I can swap or give them away if necessary.  I'm truly holding out for the olive purse...I'll be stalking after that purse!

Oh!  I got presents.  I haven't even opened them yet.  As I scribble this out, I'm in bed reminiscing about the laughter, fun, smiles and energy that was in our home.  I love that!!!   I didn't know how many gals would be able to come and the invitation said, "your company will be my greatest gift" and it was.  It is special having friends I can laugh with. It was a treasure, there are lots of warm fuzzies inside.  Being in a newer city (not even 3 years), to look around our house at this party just warms my soul over.  New friends, old friends.  Some friends live too far away to come, but were here in spirit - we busted out our wedding album, so it automatically brought my mom and Amy, Beth and CaS to the party too.

I decided to write this post even without pictures as a reminder to myself to get over not having a career right now.  If you didn't know; I've been restless and discontented lately.  I've been looking outside of my life "as is" for validation, encouragement and appreciation.  I was gearing up to go back into the workforce and do something NEW, EXCITING. A librarian, a school administrator, public speaking, write that book I've been saying I was going to write, event planning?  In the past two days, with prayer and encouragement from some of my "besties" (thanks ladies), I'm getting redirected.  

Focusing on doing things BEAUTIFULLY where I'm at in my life is my new "career" path.  I'm good at a lot of things that don't bring in mass recognition or dolla dolla bills; but it's okay and I'm okay.  Maybe I'm typing to myself, but this "crisis of faith" almost took me into a deep, deep bout of depression.  Comparing myself to my doctor friends, corporate friends, mountain climbing friends (congrats, by the way!), life coaching friends, church leading friends - I was watering down myself.  Embarrassing at 37 that I'm still thinking about myself as if I were in middle school, comparing myself, my talents and gifts to other people.  

So, the redirection comes from God through my friends and was sealed at my self-thrown 37th birthday party last night.  I'm good at a bunch of stuff in the roles that I'm in (wife, mom and stepmom, reader, neighbor, friend, book club participant, administrator, confidant, volunteer, and the others I can't think of right now) and that I ought to remember that just because I have a Master's Degree in Education doesn't mean that I have to be out in the work force to use it.  Really, I am preaching to myself here!  Regina, you're good at stuff, you're blessed with a great family and wonderful friends.   You live in a nice, cozy home and are able to give of yourself in ways that are encouraging to others.  It's enough.

While my new year's resolution/goal is still the same - humility-  I've only just recognized that one the signposts along the road is to know my strengths (and weaknesses) and be content where I am and to do me while being me...beautifully!




Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Another Year Older

Are there any other women like me out there?

I didn't expect that my family would treat my birthday the same that I treated theirs.  (Look back at 2009 posts)  I expected them to do SOMETHING though.  Am I too complicated, too greedy, too much of a perfectionist to have had them plan for my birthday?  

I hesitate to even write this since there were many treasures:  My parents sent me a beautiful bouquet; the ones you see above.   I had at least 30 Facebook friends give me a shout out; that was cool - it's permanently on my page too so I can go back and look at it.  I got a new purse (I have an addiction), I had to go and buy it myself, but I have it.  I also had a dear friend - who was on the peak of Mt. Kilimingaro - send me a package to open today.  I received a castle shaped, powdered sugar sprinkled pound cake - my favorite - from my mother -in-law and the standard birthday card from my father-in-law.  I even got cards from my first husband's great aunts (2 of them).

Maybe I've attracted what I got from my immediate family.  I woke up this morning sensing that plans hadn't been made and stayed in pajamas unshowered and in front of mindless television and reading magazines all day.   I shut down and hid out.  If blessed with another year, I need to accept that I will need to plan my own birthday.  I was hoping that my husband would gather the troops and show me they love me and wanted me to have a special day.

I am looking forward to seeing Elizabeth Gilbert speak in Madison with two dear friends, tickets I bought and am throwing myself a birthday party next week.   Things I'm looking forward to, but won't be the same as the tokens of gratitude I'd hoped my immediate family would show me.  Are you wondering what I would've love to have had?  A clean house.  I asked for a mixed CD; they could've put it in the tote bag.  I like quiet.  A card, homemade would've been great too.  Is that unreasonable?  I'm being serious.

I try to be upbeat in my posts; out of 80 plus posts for the most part I think I've been fairly successful.  No matter how I spin it, this time will miss that mark; surely...

Happy Birthday to me.