"Open" House

We just got back from Dylan's Open House.  

For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, the school that your child goes to opens up in the evening and you mill around for a non-alcoholic social hour with teachers, students and art work.  It's an opportunity for you to meet other staff members and other parents and basically to make sure your child isn't on the naughty list throughout the day.  It can be a time of support for a child too as this is their domain and they actually want you there to share in it.  We got to look at his schoolwork, though it's not really what he wanted us to see most.  Thankfully, the teachers post it and we're able to gaze it at our leisure.  This is their freedom of speech opportunity (and also a chance for me to check his progress).

After chatting with another parent, Mark summons me over and shows me this poem (I stand corrected, "rap") written by Dylan.

If you couldn't read it, here's what it says:

"Dads"

Dads are very cool,

They can be very fun.

He'll take me to the pool,

He'll never feed me chum.

He can sometimes be rough,

When he yells in a store.

In a month he'll be buff,

But by doing all my chores.

My dad is superman,

Except without the cape.

he is so strong he'll open a can,

With the power of his fate.

My dad loves me,

But he could get very mad.

He's afraid of bees,

And he's my only dad.

By:  Dylan Simon

I was in awe when I read it.  Rubbing my husband's back, I watched him like a hawk as he soaked in the good and hard to hear parts of this poem.  It's a fairly sober judgement of Mark (though he's actually more afraid of spiders than bees). We often value Dylan's insight for a 10 year old, though it can be tough to swallow at times - you should've heard what he told me a couple of days ago.  The challenge of seeing Mark's anger written about from his stepson's perspective is washed away when the magnitude of the last line offers a decision of finality in accepting Mark as his father, his only one.  If you know anything of what this boy went through as a 6 year old burying his birth father and the stress, weight and sadness of that, then you get a glimpse of how meaningful this final line is.  I had no idea that he'd written this poem and had these feelings and am absolutely warmed over that Mark discovered it at the school tonight first.  He was speechless and almost a little teary-eyed.

It is something validating when your child recognizes your strengths beyond your flaws, but when a stepchild does it; whew, there are no words...

(tears choked back)

I'm glad we went to the Open House and that Dylan let us (and other readers) into his heart.  I look forward to seeing their relationship develop over the coming years.  

He's in good hands Chad.