Are We Blended Yet?

Have you ever noticed that I don't ever write about my stepchildren on Facebook? Maybe in a few years, I'll feel differently, but right now the relationships we're building are still so fragile and new. I share this blog with folks I know (at least I think I do) and believe that you, reader, know that my intentions are loving & sincere. I need an outlet to share my thoughts and heart about being a mom & stepmom and this is the safest, most public venue that I do that in.

So one thing about us: we host a Bible Talk in our home every other Wednesday. We have three other couples that join us (you can see Christine in the background). We open the Bible together and often have the kids stay with us for the lesson and learn about God as a family; tonight was one of those nights.

The focus of the lesson was "family" and doing things TOGETHER. I don't know about you, but I don't have a file cabinet full of memories of my parents, brother and I doing all of this stuff together - at least not in comparison to what our kids experience now. We were asked to "Get together in your family and determine your best memory as a family." I developed a bit of anxiety because we were by far the newest of the four families present and I think, without even realizing it, I reverted back to my own childhood & family memories. Within seconds, e6 was grouped and talking. Everyone shared, but there was consensus fairly quickly, but most encouraging was that we had options to pick from, we had options to discuss.

It was so heartwarming because everyone in our family smiled as Mark was sharing the memory he chose and I could feel this invisible, but thick rubber band latching us together. It was...a moment (for me). I needed this, because sometimes I falter in my definition of family these days. Defining the us Ericksons never seems straightforward and easy.

Just yesterday, I was meeting a couple of girlfriends at Bux and a gentleman, who's daughter goes to school with Veronica and I started chatting. As I was walking away, he asked, "You're Veronica's Mom, right?"

Pause. Feel the awkwardness. No, wait a little longer.

He has yelled this question across the parking lot (he had a cast on his foot) and I have a second to make it less awkward than it feels to me.

"I'm her STEPMOTHER", I yell back as I walk away - with, I think, a smile.

***

Back to the picture above...

It's difficult a lot of the time weaving and bobbing through the blended family thing (it does feel like you're in a boxing ring sometimes), but it's so worth it when our family feels we have a bond amongst ourselves. I give lots of credit to God for giving me Mark as a husband. He is no joke when it comes to planning FUN, because of his desire to have FUN & make memories, we were able to answer the question about a favorite family memory - easily.

When Ron (what I've been calling Veronica lately) stepped up to compete in the cup challenge - against a boy, I might add - I was sitting behind her, talking in her ear. Whispering words of encouragement, cheering her on, telling her she could do it, to be patient and stay focused and that we knew she could do this - and she did. She won! We sat next to one another on the couch afterwards and after all of the high-fiving was finished, I looked her in the eye and told her how proud of her I was for giving her best. And - wait, there's something in my eye (wink, wink), - she looked at me, beamed and hugged me. Ahhhh. Another...moment.

This family is coming together. We are bonding and enjoying one another more and more. It's moments like these that have helped me to realize that I'm in the very place I'm supposed to be with the exact family that is I'm supposed to be. Complicated as it is, we're learning about loving one another and truly being our best together.

Even with such wonderful moments like these, I can't help but wonder, "are we blended yet"?